Outcast At Work

Out of the staff at work (maybe overall 30 overall including chefs) only 3 of us don’t speak Urdu. I don’t mind not speaking or understanding Urdu, however I get this isolating feeling when I know the other staff are talking about me (they use the word Kali which means black girl in Urdu). The way I feel is weird, not necessarily angry but I feel that it’s not professional to talk about your colleagues right in front of them in a different language and this happens everyday and they’ll be saying Kali this Kali that and laughing
Which brings me to yesterday (Monday) we were working, there’s a relatively new guy at work named Bobby. We were discussing how tough it is working with one other staff member who everyone complains about, he was working with the difficult guy and we were repeating the things we told the difficult member at the recent staff meeting. The other guy who is his friend said, no back biting people etc (we caught this guy red handed talking bad things about myself and a friend of mine). I told him the guy already knows he’s difficult and everything he’s saying the difficult guy has been told to his face by us. Mind you myself and the girl they were talking about worked sooooo hard because we knew we were different so if we didn’t well it’d be the topic of conversation all day everyday at work. My friend there Aga even quit there and partly the reason was that she felt like she was being discriminated against; they seriously treated her like ####!

The point I’m trying to make is despite being treated this way; I wouldn’t treat them that way if it was the other way around and the majority of the workers there spoke my language . The reason being I have friends if diverse backgrounds and when we’d get together we’d speak in the same language as to not isolate anyone. Being on the receiving end of indirect racism has also made me even more aware of my actions towards others around me; there’s positivity in all things negative. So no I’m not going to tell them that I know they are talking about me, I don’t want them to stop because they are caught I want them to stop when they realise its wrong which I’m guessing they know its wrong because if it was something they didn’t mind me hearing they’d speak in English so I’m just going to let them be. If being an outcast means I’m learning not only about how I conduct myself and not caving into pressure into being someone I’m not to fit in then I don’t want to fit in. I want to remain an outcast.

Real Love


I think that most people including myself want this kind of love! But real, real love also has it’s ups and downs;Β  It’s not just roses and sunshine all day everyday its conquering those obstacles as a couple, growing and moving forward as a unit. That’s the real kind of love that I want :)

A life without internet

So you guys as I’m writing this its just a draft. I currently have no internet and won’t have internet until Tuesday. Mind you this will mean no internet from Saturday to Tuesday.
A life without internet for me is a slightly more productive life. I hadn’t seriously how much time I spend reading things online that actually have no meaning, it’s really crazy. I have managed to sort out my rooms and pretty much tidied up everything minus a few things here and there. I’m thinking more about the things that I have to do and how my day us going to go; mind you I work pretty much everyday so work is always included in the plan. Basically my time off work is better spent!
On the other hand though not having internet has made me realise that I really, really I mean reaaaaally love blogging and posting about positivity etc and just want to make a change. As clichΓ© as it sounds even if it means I’ve helped only one person then my blog has been a success to me :)
I miss the readers of this blog too i.e. bigbird! Hope you’re all well.
As always love and light :)

So how you cope without internet?



Which was like 2 weeks ago. You know when you look at pictures and remember how you felt? Here I’d just finished doing my make up (hence the shirt that should never be shown publicly) , I was feeling really happy, feeling gooooood :) I’ve had my hair straight for like over a week so I need to post pictures of that to show what I looks like. Tbh I’m not a fan of straight hair on myself :/ I don’t know why I just prefer curly hair though I think its because I got so used to seeing curly hair on me that having straight hair feels strange or looks strange. Anyway I’m starting to go on a tangent so till the next post … Love and light as always :)